Few children understand the idea of cancer, and when it becomes part of their family life they need reassurance and support. Feelings of confusion and fear are very common, and your first reaction as a parent may be to protect your children by keeping information from them or delaying the conversation.
Once you share the news, your family can help support one another throughout your cancer diagnosis. Knowing also gives your children permission to react, talk and ask questions about your cancer diagnosis. With good support, children often display resilience and can cope with a new reality. Telling them also shows that you trust your children.
Older kids are likely to have heard that people can die of cancer. It is natural for them to be afraid that you could die and to wonder what will happen to them. Make sure your children know that most people with breast cancer do get better and live long, healthy lives. Even if the cancer is advanced, treatments often can keep it under control for some time. Reassure them that, no matter what happens, their needs will be met by caring adults in their lives. Finally, do not be afraid to say you don’t know as some questions may not have immediate answers.
You might also let teachers, school counselors, coaches, and other caregivers know what is going on. Other trusted adults who spend time with your child may be help you know how your child is doing, and they can become a source of additional care and support.